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Dude Asks Latest Articles

How To Get To Know Someone Over Text?

Written by:
Reviewed by: Brenda Block
How To Get To Know Someone Over Text?

When it comes to building a connection with someone, text messaging has become an essential tool in the modern dating world. But how do you get to know someone over text without actually meeting them in person? Whether you’re looking to start a new relationship or expand your social circle, texting can facilitate the process of getting to know someone on a deeper level. In this article, we’ll discuss some effective tips and techniques to help you develop meaningful relationships through texting. So, let’s get started!

1. Setting the tone for text conversations: What should you avoid and include?

In order to create a positive and engaging text conversation, it is important to set the right tone. Avoid using language or content that might be offensive or inappropriate, and focus on sharing positive and interesting information. Here are some tips for setting the right tone for your text conversations:

Avoid these common texting mistakes:

  • Don’t reply too quickly or too slowly
  • Never send multiple messages in a row without waiting for a reply
  • Avoid using too many emojis or excessive punctuation
  • Don’t use overly familiar or suggestive language

Include the following to make your text conversations more engaging:

  • Ask open-ended questions to encourage deeper conversations
  • Share interesting news or insights about your life and interests
  • Be playful and creative in your messages to make them more memorable
  • Use humor to lighten the mood and make your partner laugh

With these tips in mind, you can create text conversations that are engaging, respectful, and enjoyable for both you and your partner. Remember to be yourself, and don’t be afraid to experiment with different conversation styles to find what works best for you.

2. Starting off slow: How to initiate text messages that lead to deeper conversations

One of the biggest challenges when it comes to getting to know someone over text is finding a way to move beyond surface-level small talk. If you’re struggling to initiate meaningful conversations, here are a few tips to get you started.

1. Ask open-ended questions

When you’re trying to get to know someone, it’s important to ask questions that require more than just a “yes” or “no” answer. Open-ended questions such as “What do you like to do for fun?” or “What’s been on your mind lately?” encourage the other person to share more about themselves.

2. Share something personal

If you want the other person to feel comfortable opening up to you, it’s important to be vulnerable yourself. Share something personal about yourself, such as a recent accomplishment or something you’re struggling with. This can help to build trust and establish a deeper connection.

3. Respond thoughtfully

When the other person shares something with you, take the time to respond thoughtfully. Ask follow-up questions, acknowledge their feelings, and share your own thoughts and experiences. This can help to keep the conversation flowing and show that you’re genuinely interested in getting to know them.

Remember, building a connection takes time and effort, but by starting off slow and focusing on meaningful conversations, you can establish a strong foundation for a deeper relationship.

3. Making it fun: Creative ways to keep your text conversations interesting and engaging


One of the biggest challenges of getting to know someone over text is keeping the conversation going beyond the typical “how are you” and “what are you up to” questions. Fortunately, there are plenty of creative ways to make text conversations more fun and engaging.

1. Play a game: There are plenty of texting games out there that can be a great way to get to know someone while having fun. For example, you can play a game of “would you rather” by asking questions like “would you rather travel the world or stay in one place for life?” or “would you rather have a million dollars or true love?”

2. Share memes and funny posts: Humor is a great way to keep a conversation light and fun. Share some of your favorite memes or funny posts with the person you’re texting. This could be a great way to find common interests and build a stronger connection.

3. Send voice messages: Sometimes, a text message just isn’t enough to convey your personality and emotions. Consider sending a voice message instead of a text. This could be a great way to add some personality and emotion to your conversations.

Overall, the key to keeping your text conversations interesting and engaging is to be creative and authentic. Don’t be afraid to try new things and see what works for you and the person you’re texting.

4. Building trust: The importance of transparency, honesty, and vulnerability over text


Trust is the foundation of any healthy relationship, and it’s no different when it comes to getting to know someone over text. In fact, because text messages lack body language and tone of voice, building trust can be even more challenging. That’s why it’s crucial to be transparent, honest, and vulnerable with the person you’re texting.


When it comes to transparency, it’s essential to be clear and upfront about your intentions, feelings, and expectations in the relationship. Don’t try to hide your true feelings or play mind games. People will quickly pick up on any insincerity and may lose trust in you. Instead, be open and honest about your thoughts and emotions.


Honesty is another critical element in building trust. It can be tempting to exaggerate or lie to make yourself sound more interesting or impressive, but this will only backfire in the long run. Instead, be truthful and authentic in your conversations. If you’re not sure how to answer a question, it’s okay to say that you need some time to think about it. Honesty shows that you value the other person and are committed to building a genuine connection.


Finally, vulnerability is the key to building strong, trusting relationships. It’s challenging to open up and share your innermost thoughts and feelings, but it’s essential to building a deep connection with someone. Be willing to share your fears, insecurities, and past experiences. This will not only help the other person get to know you better, but it will also encourage them to open up and be vulnerable with you in return. The more vulnerable and authentic you are in your conversations, the stronger the bonds of trust will become.

5. Moving beyond small talk: Tips for guiding your text conversations towards meaningful topics

While small talk has its place in building relationships, it’s important to move beyond it to truly get to know the person you’re texting. Here are some tips for guiding your text conversations towards meaningful topics:

Ask open-ended questions

Instead of asking yes or no questions, ask open-ended questions that invite thoughtful responses. For example, instead of asking “Did you have a good day?” ask “What was the best part of your day today?”

Share your own experiences

Share some personal experiences to encourage the other person to do the same. This can lead to more meaningful conversations and can help build trust between you.

Share your interests

By sharing your interests with the other person, you can identify common ground and topics you can both explore together. For instance, if you’re both passionate about music, share some of your favourite bands and artists, and ask them about their favourites.

Discuss current events

Discussing current events can be a great way to get to know someone’s beliefs and values. Make sure to keep an open mind, and don’t be afraid to respectfully disagree.

Talk about your aspirations

Talking about your goals and aspirations can be a great way to learn more about each other’s dreams and ambitions. This can help build a stronger connection and a deeper understanding of each other.

Remember, the key to moving beyond small talk is to approach these topics with curiosity and an open mind. Listen actively to the other person, and show genuine interest in their responses. By following these tips, you’ll be on your way to building deeper, more meaningful connections over text.

6. Learning about their communication style: What can text messages tell you about a person’s personality and values?

Text messages are a rich source of information not only about the content, but also about the style, tone, and frequency of communication. By analyzing these aspects of text messages, you can gain insights into a person’s personality, values, and preferences. Here are some tips on what to look for:

1. Response time:

How quickly does the person respond to your messages? Is their response prompt or delayed? If they take a long time to reply, it could mean that they are busy or not interested in the conversation. If they respond immediately, it could suggest that they are eager to communicate with you.

2. Length and depth:

Do they write short and to-the-point messages, or long and elaborate ones? Do they ask questions, share personal anecdotes, or express opinions and emotions? Their writing style can reveal a lot about their communication skills, confidence, and willingness to open up.

3. Emoji and tone:

Do they use emoji, punctuation, or capitalization to convey emotions or emphasize certain words? How do they react to jokes, compliments, or disagreements? Their use of language and tone can indicate their sense of humor, sensitivity, and attitude towards communication.

In conclusion, text messages can provide valuable clues about a person’s communication style, which in turn reflects their personality and values. By paying attention to these signals, you can tailor your own communication style to match theirs, and deepen your understanding and connection with them.

7. Balancing texting and face-to-face interactions: Finding the right mix of both to nurture a healthy relationship

In today’s world, it’s easy to get carried away with texting and forget the importance of face-to-face interactions. It’s essential to find the right balance of both to maintain a healthy relationship. Texting is a great way to connect, but it should not replace real-life interactions.

1. Determine the frequency and time of your texting and face-to-face interactions

Setting a schedule or routine for your communication can help you manage your time more efficiently and ensure that you maintain the right balance. Consider scheduling time for face-to-face interactions that suit your respective schedules. You could also decide on a limit for texting frequency in a day or week. It can be helpful to know each other’s preferences, so you are both on the same page.

2. Use texting as a supplement to face-to-face interactions

Texting should be used to supplement face-to-face interactions and not replace them. You don’t want to rely solely on texting to communicate with your partner, as it can result in missed inflections, false impressions, and misunderstandings. Face-to-face interactions provide opportunities to read and interpret body language, tone, and verbal cues that are lost in text messages.

3. Don’t be afraid to switch it up

Don’t feel like you only have to interact with your partner in one way; mix it up! For instance, you can surprise them with a phone call or a video call in the middle of the day. If you live in different places, plan a weekend getaway so that you can spend quality time together.

By finding the right balance of texting and face-to-face interactions, you can foster a strong and healthy relationship with your partner. Remember that these are just guidelines, and that every relationship is unique. You need to find a balance that works for you and your partner, based on your respective lifestyles and communication styles.

People Also Ask

1. How do you start a conversation with someone you just met over text?

To start a conversation with someone you just met over text, ask them an open-ended question about themselves, such as “What are some of your favorite hobbies?” or “Tell me a little about yourself.” Be genuine and show interest in their responses.

2. What are some good questions to ask to get to know someone better over text?

Good questions to ask someone to get to know them better over text include asking about their interests, goals, and family. You can also ask them about their favorite movies, books, or music, or about any interesting travel experiences they may have had.

3. How often should you text someone you’re getting to know?

There is no set rule for how often you should text someone you’re getting to know. However, it’s important to keep a balance between showing interest and not being too overwhelming. Gauge their response and adjust your texting frequency accordingly.

4. How do you keep a conversation going over text?

To keep a conversation going over text, ask follow-up questions or share related personal stories to the topic at hand. Use humor or emojis to add personality to your texts, and be attentive to their responses to keep the conversation flowing.

5. What are some texting mistakes to avoid when getting to know someone?

Some texting mistakes to avoid when getting to know someone include sending multiple messages without waiting for a response, being too pushy or demanding, or oversharing personal information too soon. It’s also important to avoid using improper grammar or excessive slang.


Getting to know someone over text takes time and effort. It’s important to be genuine and show interest in their responses. Ask open-ended questions, share personal stories, and show personality through emojis and humor. Avoid texting mistakes and be mindful of their responses to keep the conversation flowing. Remember, building a connection takes time, so don’t rush it!

Toby Wooten

Toby Wooten

Quora SpecialistNovice 👶
Living in the historic town of Princeton, New Jersey, I've carved out a niche as a Quora Specialist, sharing knowledge and unraveling mysteries across a multitude of topics. Spanning the corners of history to the finicky details of today's technology, my aim is to enlighten and engage. With a curious mind and an insatiable appetite for learning, I thrive on the challenges and rewards that come from deep-dives into questions, illuminating answers for a global audience.

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